Thursday, May 30, 2013

Even during the slowest football time of the year, current and former New England Patriots find a way to make us raise our eyebrows. 

It's one of those situations where it just gets progressively weirder - first the screaming Tom Brady. Then Tedi Bruschi gets denied a lip lock. When Wes Welker comes in over the top, it gets dangerously close to NSFW territory before the footage mercifully ends. 

Ostensibly, this is just bros being bros - but considering the participants, we feel obliged to ridicule them.

Posted on Thursday, May 30, 2013 by Jake Silver

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Thursday, May 9, 2013

Yes, you read that title correctly. GRIZZLY BEARS PLAYING ICE HOCKEY!
We don't know how the Russians (Chinese?) trained those bears to play, but wow. Just wow.

Our only real question is, what do you have to pay a referee to officiate grizzlies on skates?

Posted on Thursday, May 09, 2013 by Jake Silver

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Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Guest post by Simon.

Recently, Georges St. Pierre appeared on the Joe Rogan Experience podcast and in a heartfelt interview with comedian and main UFC commentator, Joe Rogan. The two household names discussed a number of possible changes to the UFC that might bring back some of the best elements of the “old school” days.

They also discussed aliens.

1. GSP on the UFC Round Time

“We want to see who is the best man, you know? Let them fight.”

St. Pierre makes it very clear that he does not like the length of the rounds in the UFC. He would actually prefer for there to be no clock at all. Or, at the very least rounds that are in the 15-25 minute range. This is not just an arbitrary preference on the part of GSP. He goes onto give some pretty specific reasons:

1. Rounds only exist in the (modern) UFC to appeal to the boxing crowd.
2. A more “endurance” type of approach to UFC fights is more likely to reveal the “better fighter.”
3. This would be a throwback to the “old days,” where there were no weight classes or rounds.

2. GSP on the UFC’s Octagon

“It’s fine.”

When asked about whether or not Georges was satisfied with the size and shape of the ring, some
interesting ideas popped up:

1. A cage with glass walls.
2. A squared off section of ground with no walls. (Like that of a sumo wrestling match.)

Rogan quickly pointed out that it would be impossible to see the fight through the accumulation of
sweat and blood on a glass surface. He even makes reference to the fact that some people in the
audience find the fight hard enough to see already through the black wire mesh of the cage.

When it comes to a “line drawn in the sand” type of an environment, unlike sumo wrestlers, there is a
good chance that someone could be kicked, punched, or straight-up thrown into the crowd.

They eventually agree that the Octagon is just fine.

3. GSP on Losing the Gloves in UFC Fights

“It could be an option. There would be a lot of broken hands.”

Wearing gloves allow you to basically tee off and punch your opponent as hard as you can, which
benefits the type of fighter that has a focus on striking with the hands more so than anyone else. For
instance, UFC fighters do not wear any padding on their legs, so a kick boxer has to be somewhat more strategic with his attacks.

Rogan and St. Pierre both come to agreement that getting rid of gloves would change the game from
how it currently operates—likely dramatically enough that it would make it less exciting to the amateur outsider looking in, but perhaps more exciting those individuals watching who possess a high “fighting IQ.”

4. GSP on Aliens

“If I see an alien, I put him in a choke hold.”

Georges has an interesting take on aliens. He admits that he has a certain fear when it comes to
beings from space (or another dimension.) This belief comes from the fact that he is among the small
percentage of people who report “missing time.” St. Pierre expresses a healthy skepticism towards
the paranormal, but when it comes to situations where large chunks of time seem to be “wiped” from
his memory, George certainly hasn’t discounted the existence of “the greys,” or some form of alien
intelligence abducting him to for purposes unknown—possibly to study the fighting specimen not unlike the media does.

Fortunately for Georges, Joe Rogan is somewhat of a (self-proclaimed) expert on the nature of so-called “alien encounters.” According to Rogan, there is an extremely high correlation between alien sightings and the production of the highly concentrated hallucinogen dimethyltryptamine, more commonly referred to as DMT.

It could be the case that the extreme training required to maintain a UFC title is plunging Georges into such a powerful dreamscape his brain is overproducing DMT, and effectively playing tricks on him— or maybe it really is aliens. Whatever the case, according to the mixed martial arts fighter, this strange phenomenon has been happening to him since he was a kid.

About the Author:

Simon is a writer and content specialist who is addicted to being on the front page of anything. A
graduate of Dalhousie University, he transitioned from music and entertainment into the persuasive
world of online marketing. Simon specializes in how-to, editorials, and using the em dash too often.
Currently, he rests his typing hands in Vancouver, Canada.

Posted on Tuesday, May 07, 2013 by Zack Pumerantz

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